How to Make a Monster: Bruins Powerplay Edition!

Bruins train keeps a-rollin with an 8-0-1 record to start. The SwayMark tandem looks better than ever. Matt Poitras is the undisputed frontrunner to win the Calder.

But what’s going on with this freaking powerplay?

The shortest and most obvious answer is that it misses Bergy something fierce. While it’s still clearly too early to be panicking, it’s never too early for us fans to concoct our own mad-scientist abomination-combinations that Monty is never going to throw out on the ice. (But he could!) No wrong answers, folks. We have the power to shape lines, pull them apart, put them together again! Mold them like putty! (Shouts to anyone who gets that reference).

Ripper’s PP1:

Netfront: JVR

Left: Pasta / Bumper: Marchy / Right: Chucky

Point: Grizz

That’s right, I’m going two D. For this demonic PP, the wings play higher in the zone and closer to the point, where they become a shooting gallery for the purpose of just shelling JVR in front. Grizz as the lefty can feed righties Pasta and Chucky or just rip it himself. Marchy is in the bumper in the role of a poor man’s Bergeron. He played with him the longest and hopefully picked up on what he used to do and can also adapt to my new firing squad approach to the powerplay. If (when) it doesn’t work, we’ve got two D men on the backcheck to chase down would-be shorthanded bids.

Ripper’s PP2:

Netfront: Jake

Left: Pasta / Bumper: Zacha / Right: Shattenkirk

Point: Lindholm

Just keep Pasta out there the whole time. If Ovechkin can play two minutes every power play, so can the guy that’s eventually going to pass him in career goals. This second unit is designed to function just like the first, with a left handed D up high to feed the two righties in Pasta and Shattenkirk that are just going to fling rubber at the net front guy in the form of Jake, who isn’t going to do any complaining after being late for team breakfast and being the worst suitcase packer on the team. Zacha, do your best Bergy impression. If he or Marchy can’t get this to work, we’ll just replace either one of them with Poitras and presto! That Frankenline is alive, baby!

Got any better ideas? You’ll have to submit it to Brews News. May the best monster win.